Bending Space

You ever wonder how long it took the inventor of photography to take a picture of his own dick? Seriously! Like how long between snapping a picture of shitty landscapes in the distance, or more likely his cat, and looking down at the crotch of his pants, dropping his trousers, and making history by taking the first picture no one asked for?

I only ask because I’m sure the time he waited could be clocked with an egg timer. And if that’s the case, maybe I wouldn’t feel as bad as I do right now about how long it took me to use a new invention for my own naughty gains.

You don’t understand the pressure of being a scientist. Of publishing journal articles, Department of Defense contracts, and all this bullshit. Within 24 hours of successfully teleporting an apple across the the CERN campus, I was surrounded by serious looking people asking how long before we could do something similar with humans. They wanted “tactical” and “strategic” options within one year.

I worked non-stop that year.

No relationships. No real ones anyway. The only ones I could maintain were the “friends” I had on Discord in a little server that kept me company most of the time. It helps me focus and when I needed release, it was a shortcut. So many ready and willing men and women wanting to play from a distance and I flirted with all of them whenever I got the opportunity. I could only imagine what fucking any of them would feel like in real life.

But I had a light-bulb moment, albeit a sleep-deprived one. Once I completed a live specimen sequence, what was to stop me from taking a trip for myself? I could even test the process myself. Transport myself to a location, visit one of my Discord friends and then get myself back before anyone noticed I was gone. All I’d need was the latitude, longitude, and elevation of where I’d be landing and time would need to be limited using the device’s built-in parameters.

Do you know how frustrating it is to have the power to do something and then no one believes you? No one took me seriously. Not a single one of my DMs thought I was offering to visit them for real…except one.

It was a shot in the dark. She was one of the more wild server members.

CERNvern: I made a breakthrough in my lab and I’d like to test it out. How’d you like to help me make history?

KITTEN: Oooo, what kind of breakthrough?

CERNvern: The space-time-bending kind.

An LOL reaction emoji. This was encouraging. I asked the question.

CERNvern: Can I pay you a visit?

Silence. This is where I’d lost everyone else, if we’d even gotten this far in the conversation.

Then…

KITTEN: What do you need?

I was floored at the idea that this might work, that if I didn’t tear myself to shreds in the process, I might be standing in front of a woman I have called a Goddess on more than one occasion.

CERNvern: I just need four things. Latitude. Longitude. Elevation. And…let’s say about 10 feet of clearance. Just to be safe.

The screen showed she was typing. Then stopped. More typing but she stopped again. I was convinced she was second guessing the idea and prepared myself for inevitable disappointment.

KITTEN: I think my garage might be a safer place for this, in that case.

Five minutes later I entered coordinates into the system on my end and waited.

I logged in, bringing the collider online. I’d need not one, but two singularities for this to work.

Two singularities thrown against each other, generating a gravitational wave that would anchor my side of the bridge to another point in time and space: the coordinates to her garage.

If I had stopped to think, I might have hesitated. I was playing with a lot of power. The only thing that could come close to this level of energy output was the atomic fusion at the core of our sun and yet…all I could think of was meeting her.

Ten minutes later, I was blinded by a flash of light and knocked off my feet by the blast of some unseen force. It took a few seconds to get my bearings. Papers flew everywhere around me initially and then the violence settled without any warning. I looked up from my seat on the floor, expecting to find the experiment had failed but I instead found myself looking at a stainless steel refrigerator with two bicycles and a beautiful brunette woman, wearing a short blue sundress, leaning against it.

It was her. I would have recognized her anywhere, even with the look of absolute shock and amazement on her face.

She waved, smiling with every single one of her teeth.

“It worked?” She asked, shouting.

I could hear her as clear as if she were standing right next to me.

I stood up, brushing the office supplies away and fixing myself up as much as I could. I’d just opened up a wormhole, the first ever in history, but let me take a few seconds to look a little more presentable to my server crush.

“Looks like it,” I replied normally, seeing no need to raise my voice.

I studied the portal. It looked stable but without running some more experiments, it was impossible to know if a live person could safely enter the bridge and come out on the other side intact. Sound seemed to carry without a problem but… I was suddenly cursing the inconvenient return of my common sense.

I saw her take a step forward but I waved her off. We were so close to each other and yet still so far. I wouldn’t let her take that risk.

I bent down and grabbed a stapler that had flown off the desk, weighing it in my hand for a moment before chucking it into the opening.

It sailed through without any resistance and hit the concrete floor on her end with as much force as it should have.

It landed just a couple of feet in front of her and she approached it. She didn’t pick it up immediately. She crouched down in her short dress and I’d be lying if I didn’t think of throwing caution out the window in that very moment. I saw myself rushing through the opening and pinning her against that refrigerator, claiming her mouth with my own.

She stood up and shrugged. “It looks normal.”

“Can you throw it back to me?” I wanted to run tests on it and find out what, if any, kinds of energy it had been exposed to.

She looked a little disappointed, as though she realized I would not be stepping into her home today. Then she smiled.

I watched her delicate fingers reach for the hem of her short dress, sliding it up her body to reveal the length of her thighs and where they joined her hips. Cotton panties covered her mound. Cotton bikini panties…my favorite. Her fingers hooked under the fabric at her hips, sliding them down her legs and away from the core of her body. She spun in place, turning her back to me, taking her sweet and precious time to bend completely at the waist until the panties lay loose around her ankles.

I was stunned. Here I was standing in front of a cosmic force that all but guaranteed me the Nobel Prize in physics and yet I couldn’t take my eyes off her body.

I watched her step out of the panties and turn to pick up the stapler. Wrapping the stapler in the stretchy white fabric, she tossed both through the portal and I lunged to catch it before it touched anything else.

I unraveled my prize and held it to my face. God, it was still warm…and wet.

I mentally logged that observation to make use of it later. For science…obviously.

I wanted to step through. I wanted to press her body against mine. She was giving herself to me and this day would have been glorious. I could have won science and fucked a beautiful, sensual, adventurous woman as my reward.

A warning sounded on the panel. The bridge was failing. The infinitesimal points of matter that had generated the singularities could no longer support the bridge and within seconds of the alarm, the bridge itself had disappeared.

I still held her panties to my face, equations writing themselves on the blackboard in my brain. I will open the bridge again. I will step through it next time and she will be mine. Nothing will stop me.

Nothing.